Witch's Instruments
by AngelesseyWingless
Summary: When Battler gets thrown into the world of Mortal Instruments, what happens? And it seems that Valentine is back too, with help from Bern and Lamda...
1. Chapter 1

Ushiromiya Battler opened his eyes.

Sunlight blinded him almost instantaneously, and he blinked.

He attempted to sit up, and felt pain shoot through his back. 'Ow!'

Rubbing his lower back, he sat up slowly and looked around.

He was lying on a street, somewhere. It certainly didn't look like Japan; none of the people staring at him curiously as they passed looked remotely Asian. _Where the heck am I?_

Closing his eyes, he tried to recall the events of the last few days.

Oh yes. Bernkastel and Lambda had been conspiring something. They wouldn't tell him what it was of course, but the many sidelong glances had assured him that it was something to do with him. Then there had been all the comments about how he was such a hopeless Game Master and how he would need to "prove his worth" before the next game, otherwise Erika was definitely going to win again. Even Erika herself had been acting unusually suspicious.

_Damn. _Those two... no, three, because Erika had probably helped them... had done something, which had resulted him being dumped somewhere in the middle of nowhere, and who knows how many miles away from Beato. This last fact was particularly concerning.

But first. To find out where he was. He stood, carefully, because for some reason his head was spinning and he ached all over, and hobbled over to a nearby bench, collapsing down again before looking around. _What the..._

He didn't recognise _anything. _Even the people were talking some weird language...

_Where the heck have they dumped me?_

A girl walked past, all pale skin with long black hair. 'Excuse me.' He called out.

She turned, and said something, raising her eyebrows.

_This probably isn't going to work... but.._ 'Could you tell me where I am?' He thought for a second, then added , 'And what the date is?' He wouldn't put it past Lambda and Bern to dump him in the Middle Ages or something.

She stared for a moment, then walked off.

_Oh damn. _'Hey! Wait!' He tried the few words of English that he knew. 'Hello! Help! Me!'

She gave him a strange look, then continued on her way, speeding up a little.

Cursing, he sank back onto the bench. _Oh damn. This really really sucks. I kinda even wish Beato was here. At least she'd probably know what to do._


	2. Chapter 2

'Hey, guess what?' Isabelle threw her bag onto the kitchen bench top.

'What?' Clary looked up, digging her toes into the thick shag pile carpet.

'I met this weirdo at the plaza. He grabbed me and started babbling something in Japanese. Then he finished with shouting "Hello, help me!"' She snorted. 'Homeless people are so sad.'

Clary shrugged. 'Did he looked homeless?'

'That was the weird thing.' Isabelle frowned. 'He was dressed, like, really strangely. In this red shirt and white suit. And there was a weird symbol-thing on his coat.'

'What do you mean, symbol? Like a rune?' Clary sketched a random rune onto the paper she was scribbling on, then rubbed it out.

'No.' Isabelle scribbled something on a scrap of paper and held it out. 'Like this.'

Clary took the paper and squinted at it. It looked... 'Like a wing,' she said out loud.

'Huh?'

'It's a wing.' She pointed. 'See. But only one wing.'

'Huh. Like I said, weird.'

'Yeah.' Clary shrugged. 'Whatever.' She resumed sketching. Though she had started with the intention of drawing the skyline she could see out the window, she had ended up drawing Jace, again_._ With wings, huge black ones that extended way out past his shoulders.

Absentmindedly, she scrubbed out one wing.

Isabelle leaned over. 'Jace again? But only one wing. That's kinda strange. Like a one-winged bird.'

'Yeah.' Clary bent over the drawing and sketched in the other wing again.

'No, it's lopsided.' Isabelle frowned. 'He looked kinda cool with one wing, actually.'

'Hmm.' _A one winged bird, huh?_

Battler was starving. To his horror, his wallet had disappeared, and he had no spare change in any of his pockets. And all the shopkeepers were looking at him funny, anyway.

He had realised by now that they were all speaking English. However, his English vocabulary was limited to "Hello" "Goodbye" "Help me" and for some reason "I love your tits". Of course, it had been his father who had taught him those few words, so that might have something to do with it.

_Damn pervy old geezer._

He estimated that it had been roughly two hours since he had woken up... and the last time he had eaten had been breakfast, six hours ago. Of course, he had no idea how long he had been unconscious.. so...

_And _his back was still aching.

Meaning that all together, his temper was almost at breaking point.

A guy bumped into him, and he turned, a snarl on his lips. 'Watch where you're going, you....'

The guy turned and said something aggressively, golden hair sparkling in the sunlight. For some reason, that, and his whole angel-pretty-boy appearance, only pissed Battler off further.

'I'm sorry. I didn't realize that this whole damn city was filled with pretty-boy poncers like yourself.'

The guy's brow furrowed, and his fists clenched. Then the other guy next to him, dark haired, leaned forward and grabbed his wrist.

'Enough, Jace,' Alec said warningly. The guy yelling at them looked more than a little cracked. 'We should just go.'

'Just let me..' Jace struggled in his grip.

'No.'

Battler couldn't understand what they were saying. His head was throbbing, and for some reason his eyesight was blurring, the figures of the two guys growing indistinct.

Battler collapsed.

'What the hell?' Jace nudged the weirdo with his toe. The guy stirred, and murmured something.

'Huh?' he knelt down.

'... hungry..'


	3. Chapter 3

'We're back!' the door opened, and Jace stepped in, followed by Alec, who was carrying something on his back.

'What's that?' Clary nodded at the thing on Alec's back.

'Wait a minute...' Isabelle stepped closer. 'That's the weirdo I met! You know, the one winged bird.'

Jace looked at Alec. 'See, I told you we should've just left him there.'

Alec shrugged. 'He said he was hungry.' With a grunt, he heaved the guy onto the couch.

Clary edged away from him. 'You know, most homeless guys would say that.'

'Yeah.. but..' Alec turned the guy over. 'He doesn't look that homeless to me.'

They stared down at the guy.

'Yeah.' Jace said finally. 'Too clean to be homeless.' With a careless shrug he headed for the door. 'I'm gonna get takeaway. Indian or Chinese?'

'Chinese.' Clary peered down at the weird symbol on the guy's coat. 'And get one extra.'

'Whatever.' The door closed behind Jace.

Battler woke with a groan. His head was aching more than ever, and for some reason he could smell food. He sat up, blinking blearily.

'Oh look! He's awake!' A face swam in and out in front of his eyes. He blinked and it solidified; a girl, perhaps 15 or 16, with blazing orange hair and freckles.

'D'you want something to eat?' she held out a plastic takeaway box.

He took it with slightly trembling fingers, and peered inside. Chinese.

'Where am I?' he wondered aloud.

The girl's brow furrowed. 'I'm sorry. I can't understand you. Though you can probably understand me, but that's only because of the rune. See?' She pushed up her sleeve, revealing a spiky black thing on her arm.

Battler frowned. _What the heck... I finally thought I was somewhere normal..._

'Clary, you're confusing him.' A guy sat down next to her.

'You!' Battler jumped up, recognizing the blonde-pretty-boy from earlier.

'Hey!' Clary jumped up too, standing between them. 'Enough! You too, Jace!' she turned and glared at the guy, who had risen, his fists clenched.

'Whatever.' Jace sat back down again, completely relaxed once more.

'Sit!'Clary glared at Battler. Reluctantly he sat down, glaring at Jace. For some reason, the blonde boy irritated him more than anyone else ever had, even including Erika.

Virgilia felt more than a little worried. Though she'd known that Bern, Lambda and Erika were planning something, she'd never expected this. To dump Battler in New York City, of all places!  
The boy didn't even know how to speak English....

'Virgilia-sama, what are we going to do about this.. problem..?' Ronove waited patiently.

'I actually have no idea.' Virgilia sighed, and sipped her tea. 'New York City is completely out of our jurisdiction, and as far as I know, Battler has no idea how to use his newly acquired powers for situations like these, so we can't use that avenue of escape.'

'Perhaps if we went there ourselves, to help him. Perhaps we cannot bring him back, but maybe we could just...' Ronove shrugged, hands spread. Despite his constant teasing of Battler, he respected and liked the boy; his courage and determination were impressive. And of course, Beatrice-sama would miss him if he were gone.

'But the thing is... I agree with Bern and Lambda.' Virgilia's brow furrowed.

'Virgilia-sama?'

'Battler made a bad mistake in the last game. He needs to learn. True, this method is not the one I would have used... but.. I somehow think that this will be for his own good.'

Ronove considered. 'True. However, he is completely on his own, you realize.'

'Not completely.' Virgilia smiled slightly. 'New York itself has quite a substantial magical population. Werewolves, faeries, vampires, and Shadowhunters.'

'Shadowhunters.' Ronove frowned; he had heard that name somewhere before. Then.. 'Ah. Of course.' He chuckled. 'Yes, now I think that Battler-kun will be completely fine.'

'Indeed.' Virgilia sipped her tea.

'Ow ow ow ow ow ow!' Battler squirmed, batting away Jace's hand with the stele

'Oh, sit still.' Jace grabbed his arm and tried again, carving the rune for translation into the pale skin.

'It hurtssss...' Battler squeezed his eyes shut, biting his lip. He was pretty sure Jace was doing it on purpose; Alec hadn't even flinched when he'd gotten his "runes" done.

'Look.' Jace tightened his grip. 'This is only so I can understand you. I mean, we don't even know your name yet! So stop acting so wimpy and let me finish it!' He continued, applying only a _little _more pressure than was necessary.

Battler whimpered. He was _really _starting to detest Jace.

'I don't get it.' Magnus sat beside Alec, watching as the red-haired boy the Shadowhunters had picked up squirmed on the couch. 'Why are you putting runes on a hobo, let alone _telling _him what runes are? He's a mundane, for god's sake!'

'I have no idea, actually.' Alec picked at the fabric of the couch. 'By the time that Isabelle realized what we were doing, we'd already started. It was like he was just another Shadowhunter that we'd picked up. Jace actually said that it was like meeting Clary for the first time; we _knew _that she wasn't just another mundane.'

'Hmm...'

Just then the red-haired boy said something and Jace frowned.

'Clary... it's not working.'

'What?' Clary sat up. Magnus looked up, alarmed.

'The rune's not working on him...'


End file.
